Great Moments in Douschebaggery…

...salutes W Axl Rose this week. (Why is there always a “W” involved…?)

After foolishly having purchased tickets to the Axl Rose Traveling Vanity Show and Train Wreck last year, then suffering a last-minute postponement days before the scheduled show date, The Last Boy Scout forwards me the following item from his buddy who writes entertainment for the local rag:

Uh, this is a real shocker but Guns N' Roses just scrapped its Christmas Island show scheduled for Jan 10., along with the rest shows in Reno, Bakersfield and San Diego. The reason? Well, let's just let Axl Rose explain, as he does in this bit from the press release:

“Due to the schedule of these particular shows valuable time needed by the band and record company for the proper setup and release of the album Chinese Democracy would be lost. Rather than delay the album yet again all involved have decided to remove these shows from GNR’s schedule. We sincerely hope our fans understand and we apologize for any inconvenience this may have caused anyone. Tickets may be refunded at local point of purchase.”

Then Axl goes on to blather about this alleged fucking album he’s been trying to pop out his poopchute since giving the sack to Slash and the rest of the real Guns & Roses some TEN YEARS AGO!! My concert was scuttled so he could continue to fail to release his first new product in over a decade.

He goes on:

“In the end it’s just an album and one that I, the band, our record company and all involved believe and feel is a true Guns N’ Roses album.”

What a load of horse puckey. A true GNR album would feature Slash, Duff and Izzy Stradlin, not his current handful of salaried employees and horn section. But that’s just the kind of line of bullshit you’d expect from this arrested-adolescent, self-impressed twit.

His statement rambles on for a few more paragraphs in the same back-slapping vein, but what it comes down to is, once again this jerk has disappointed his fans. My only consolation is, after ten+ years out of the pop music marketplace (the last actual GNR track was recorded for the soundtrack to “Interview With a Vampire” in 1994 for Christ’s sake!), he’s cooked his goose pretty well. Probably in another ten years, I’ll be able to pay a $5 cover charge to go catch his nostalgia act at the local dive bar with the house band backing him up.

And he’ll look like an even creepier botoxed, cornrowed shadow of the Axl Rose who mattered for a couple years between the late ‘80s and early ‘90s. “Table for one at the Ashbin of History – Mr. W Axl Rose, your seat is ready!”

I’m telling you, it’s got to be the “W” that produces this kind of delusionary hubris. Can it really be coincidence?