Thumbnail Movie Reviews

With the stress and hassle of The Move behind us, I've been watching a lot of movies to unwind, including a bunch that I taped during a recent 3-month free HBO “trial.” Where to start…? How about this morning:

“Flightplan” with Jodie Foster: A professionally executed movie that I passively enjoyed in spite of its 'child in jeopardy' plot. Just the right length at about 90 minutes.

“Shattered Glass” with the kid who played Darth Vader in the last two Star Wars flicks. Turns out he actually can act - George Lucas has the opposite of the Midas Touch when it comes to directing actors. Christ, he even made Sam Jackson boring in “Revenge of the Sith.” Back on point: As a newspaperman, “Shattered Glass” is about a subject near and dear to my heart - journalistic integrity. Well-written, nicely-acted and actually about something. I loved this flick.

“Red Eye.” Cut-and-paste thriller with a very pretty girl. Another 90 minutes wasted, guilt-free.

“Taking Lives” with Angelina Jolie and Ethan Hawke. Another thriller with the standard plot twists. The first 5 minutes are the best and contain the only real surprises. There is a brief flash of Angelina nudity, if that sort of thing motivates you (and why shouldn't it?).

“Napoleon Dynamite.” What the fuck? Let's just chalk it up to me being old and move on. But people my age, beware - this movie is a piece of crap.

“The Constant Gardener.” I saw this one in spite of the presence of Ralph Fiennes (whose last non-sucky performance was way back in “Schindler's List,”) and a depressing plotline involving death and squalor in Africa. Glad I rose above my prejudices. This movie kicked some pretty serious ass, maybe partly because it was based on a John le Carré novel. The supporting actress nod to its female lead, Rachel Weisz, was well-earned, too.

“Miracle,” about the 1980 US Olympic hockey team. Came highly recommended but didn't offer anything besides the usual sports movie clichés, with an extra-added helping of patriotism included. I'm usually a sucker for sports movies and patriotic movies, but this one was just too by-the-numbers.

Speaking of patriotic movies: anything produced by Hollywood between 1941 and ’45 is a-okay by me, especially the war flicks - feel-good propaganda at its very finest. Turner Classic Movies is hands-down the greatest movie channel on TV, and it comes standard with most basic cable packages. Click HERE for their schedule.

“Tin Cup.” Can Kevin Costner make a bad sports film? I haven't seen it if he has. Though no “Hoosiers” or “Pride of the Yankees,” it wiped the floor with “Miracle.”

Finally, a movie I haven't watched lately, but one I never pass up the chance to talk up: “Flesh + Blood.” The first English-language film by the director who went on to give us “Basic Instinct,” “Total Recall” and “Showgirls,” this film is the purest distillation of Paul Verhoeven's bleak vision thus far. Most movies make a point of having at least one character who isn't a complete piece of back-stabbing shit, someone for the audience to sympathize with. Not this one. God, do I love this film.

The Man Cub is howlin.' Gotta go!