People Don’t Kill People, Cartoons Do

As a former wannabe cartoonist myself (see above), I don't know what offends me more - that people are willing to commit murder over cartoons, or that my work never provoked any kind of similarly visceral reaction other than on the part of my mother.

People are dying over cartoons?? I was sure I wouldn't be called upon to point out how galactically stupid that is, but then I saw Ron Howard on the TV this morning shilling for his big summer flick, and it occurred to me - duh!

Mark my words - there will be domestic violence later this year from the Christian fringe when “The Da Vinci Code” opens. If these fucking idiots think bombing abortion clinics is pursuant to God's will, you can bet your Aunt Fanny God is going to tell one of these dolts He wants them to blow up a theater full of infidels enjoying “Da Vinci.”

Its content is even more inflammatory than the Mohammed cartoons. The Mohammed cartoons don't question the prophet's place in the firmament - “Da Vinci” postulates that the whole of Christianity is based on lies and fraud. Ye-owch! It's gonna take more than Tom Hanks and Richie Cunnigham to take the taint off of that plotline for those in direct contact with The Big Guy.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Religious zealots are not to be fucked with casually. They're a wacky bunch who, left to their own devices, are among the very first to resort to violence, even against themselves, to promote their agenda. From Cain killing Abel to the massacre at Masada to the Crusades to the Inquisition to Osama bin Buttmunch flying airplanes into skyscrapers to too many others to mention, following “God's Will” is the ultimate get out of jail free card.

When God's on your side, waiting to high-five you and dump a cooler full of Gatorade over your head as you pass through the Pearly Gates (or gift you with handfuls of willing young virgins), getting away with murder is the least of your concerns.