Cheney Does NOT Need To Go!
Goddammit, liberal wags are wailing that Darth Cheney has to get bounced from the number two post (Bob Herbert, I’m looking at you).
As a matter of truth, justice and the American Way, of course Cheney should go. Okay, duh? And all flowers should be pretty and all kittens cute and cuddly.
But as a matter of political reality, it would be a disaster for the Left for Cheney to step down now or any time… so of course they’re howling for it.
That’s why the GOP kicks our ass at every stop along the way, even while their top guys get caught up in indictment-producing scandal after scandal (DeLay, Frist, Abramson, Libby, the Enron crowd, ad nauseum). They understand that it doesn’t matter who wears the face of the party, all that matters is keeping the party in power, and they’re doing a terrific job of it.
How?
Their backroom fellows (and Mary Matilin) are craftily thinking ten steps ahead and we devoted Lefties are, as always, leading with our hearts.
And our hearts would sing to see Dick Cheney brought low – lal la la LAAAAAAA….!
Stupid, silly liberals. Be careful what you wish for. The Other Guys are running the long-con on us while they let us enjoy the illusory triumph of whipping their asses at 3-Card Monty. We don't have to be stupid. It's not required.
The oppo would love nothing more than to have an attractive, energetic nobody in the number two spot come Campaign 2008. A young, toothsome sitting VP with little or no paper Quayle – I mean trail – would suit the Bushies just fine, if history is any indication.
Other than that, right now they’ve got shit on their bench and they know it. John McCain could win a general election in a walk, but he’d never make it to the nomination past the zealots who bankroll the party. Besides him, they’re woefully light on star power, as are we. (Hillary, conversely, would sail through the Demo convention like a winning quarterback at the homecoming game and be obliterated in the general by Red State America and disaffected liberals like me who can’t stand her pandering to the right.)
But I digress.
We mustn’t allow Turd Blossom the opportunity to plant another genial dope at the top of our political anthill. And giving Cheney the boot would hand him exactly that.
BLUE LIGHT SPECIAL FOR CONSPIRACY THEORISTS: And this Libby thing is their backup plan. If shooting his pal then playing pissing match with the press about it doesn’t do The Dark Lord in, they’re prepared to have this Libby guy rat him out. Wait and see….
Wake up, people!! Look at all the exclamation points you’ve made me use. That's just bad writing. And I was supposed to be doing something else with this time, too.
Let’s feel with our hearts, but think with our heads, okay?
posted by Fang Bastardson at 11:57 PM
1 Comments:
I'm in 100 percent agreement with you, Fang. But I'm resigned to thinking that an administrative purge of Cheney is already in the works. It's not only the Left who are clamoring for his walking shoes. Just this week, Peggy Noonan, former speechwriter for the Gipper, wrote an op-ed piece in the WSJ in which she outlines the case for nixing Cheney.
One point that concerns me in particular is the fact that Bush I faced similar pressure to ditch Quayle when his presidency was in the doldrums, but he resisted. Now, as we all know, Bush II generally does the opposite of what his father did.
And here's something else to consider: do you really think this administration wants Cheney around when the Libby trial gets underway?
My fearless prediction is that, like it or not, for good or ill (and the outcome will likely make us all feel very ill): Cheney is a goner just as soon as Shotgate dies down.
6:21 PM
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