“Oh, I see you’re standing better today”

As usual, there is a silver lining of comedy to be found in even the gloomiest stormcloud of misfortune…

So of course by this morning the sutures in my gum are coming loose prematurely and I have to race back to the dentist to get them repaired at a moment’s notice. I hop in the car and haul ass out there and sure enough, the anticipated quickie last-minute patch job ends up requiring multiple applications of The Long Needle. And I was so sure it was going to be a painless affair I totally failed to drug myself up beforehand.

After the repeated stabbings, the actual re-stitching only took about 10 minutes. As I was stepping out of the chair the dental assistant, the same girl who’d been involved in last week’s ordeal, remarked, “Oh, I see you’re standing better today.” Although I have no recollection, they must have had to use a spatula to scoop me out of that chair last Friday.

I am so grateful I have no recollection, I only regret leaving credible witnesses alive. I must have been having a prescient moment when I walked into the office today and told the girl at the desk, “Hi, I seem to have misplaced my dignity and was wondering if I might have left it here last week...”