You hear that giant sucking sound…?

That’s the sound of Dumbleyou’s “Values Voters” (ie: the Religious Right) base flipping through the TV Guide to see what they’re gonna watch on election night instead of going to the polls.

Between headlines like this one, hot off the wire: Triple bombing hits Baghdad's Christian area and the GOP’s cover-up of a SEX SCANDAL in their own party – covering up the actions of one of their own sexually preying on children, no less – they’re going to have precious little to motivate them off their couches and into the voting booth.

If their chosen party is causing their fellow Christians to be targeted for death in Iraq – a place where even they know we have no business being – and attempting to bugger innocent young boys their own kids’ age then cover it up, really, it must be beginning to dawn on them that they don’t have a dog in this hunt after all.

There’s a new show on Tuesday nights on NBC, “Friday Night Lights,” that celebrates small-town America and its values. The critics love it. I think it might come out the big winner in Red State America this coming first Tuesday in November.

Maybe next season, Denny Hastert can do a guest shot as a disgruntled former wrestling coach…