Monday, October 30, 2006

Milestone – Day 420

Today, our Man Cub is the same number of days old as I was when the people who would become my parents took me home from the orphanage.

I’ve been waiting for this day. I don’t know why or what it means to me, but I’ve literally been counting the days. I even wrote on my wall calendar, “Man Cub passes go – I get out of jail?”

I always felt like I got gypped in life – probably not an uncommon reaction for people orphaned for the first year-plus of their existence – and ever since then, I’ve had it in my head that I wanted to do something to balance those karmic scales.

When I think about the last fourteen months of constant, 24/7 personal attention The Man Cub has required, and speculate as to the unlikelihood that I received the same level of individual attention during the same period… I just feel so sorry for that kid who was me.

I don’t feel sorry for me, the skeevy grown-up I am today; I feel sorry for that poor orphaned kid who was mostly forehead, if that makes any sense…

Anyhow, today we’ve hit the turning point. Today, The Man Cub starts from scratch, and so do I. That beastly, wicked old fuck I’ve been my whole life, I don’t have an excuse for him any more. I’ve put paid to the debt that set me on the path to becoming the awful person I’ve been, and from this day forward, it’s a fresh start for both of us.

Welcome to the world, son. Thanks for giving me a second chance to put my heart in order.

3 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your heart was always in order (how else would you explain the undying support of friends and the wife)
You just now have an outlet for your heart.
He is a lucky guy.
Love ya
Kath

5:03 PM

 
Blogger Heather Clisby said...

WOW. Holy shit. I didn't see that coming and now I've got weepy moisture all over my keyboard.

I agree with Kath, your heart hasn't changed one bit. It has always been heading the Right direction, despite all the scenic day trips.

As a former orphan myself, I gotta say, we got lucky but not half as lucky as the Man Cub.

Truly beautiful post, Fang. Well done.

5:05 PM

 
Anonymous Anonymous said...

WOW SQUARED. I'm so glad I touched base with the blogosphere today...I didn't even know the exact count of your days in limbo, and I was there when you graduated from limbo into hell...oops, I mean heaven, of course. Heaven. In the form of our tender, kind and deeply intellectual family.

Pete, that was so beautiful. I love you so much. I'm so glad you're such a wise and smart guy, in spite of everything that worked against it.

7:38 PM

 

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