Fences of Freedom

Happened to catch the bill signing this morning on cable. There was our redoubtable Dumbleyou surrounded by a grinning gaggle of GOPers who, I’m guessing, aren’t up for reelection this time out or they wouldn’t be caught dead on camera with the persona-non-grata-in-chief.

They called it, I swear, “The Secure Fence Act.” Do I have that right? I know I got the “Secure Fence” part right. I laughed out loud. See, it’s a fence and it’ll keep us secure. Security, get it? “9/11...?”

Ring a bell yet, WalMart shoppers?

Forgetting the fact that fences are notoriously easy to circumvent (unless they happen to be under 24/7 surveillance by armed guards – and we’re talking 700 miles of armed guards here. Gee, where do you think we’d turn to fill that thankless, underpaid labor shortage?), and that any eventual implementation of this bill will undoubtedly produce pork-laden, no-bid giveaways to companies closely allied with the administration; forget about the fact that when you build a fence to keep someone else out, you end up keeping yourself in, too… No wait, those are the salient points.

But being the glass-half-full kind of guy I just naturally am, the way I see it, the day will come that this embarrassing fiasco will give some future Mexican president the opportunity for a Regean-esque, “President So-and-So, tear down this fence!” Moment. History will probably record that that future Mexican president was a great statesman.

In the meantime, the record will reflect that while Baghdad burned, George Bush built fences in the back yard. I hope they name it after him. The fence, not the war; I think the war is already a lock.