This just in…!

Just received a new batch of photos from last month’s move, including the one above of me and The Boy’s last walk home together from the preschool on Christmas Island. In the beginning I started taking him by the hand to cut down on his dawdling, but the hand-holding grew on both of us pretty quickly.

Unfortunately, that’s all over now. He’ll be traveling to the Uni preschool with his Mom most days when she goes to work. And to be fair, I knew that at the time this photo was taken. Probably goes a long way to explaining the body language.

I also failed to make it to his swimming lesson today. Work went way long, and due to my precarious position there, I had to make the tough call and stay home and finish my job and bail on the learning-to-swim imperative I’ve been focused on since I first started taking him to the pool last summer.

The whole afternoon was a panic attack waiting to happen. The Boy hung out in my office and watched a “Hellboy” movie while I chewed my nails to the nubs, the home office got me copy in excruciating dribs and drabs, the clock crept inexorably closer to the time we had to leave for the lesson, and his mom slept on.

I’m really feeling like a lousy parent today. I let the TV tend to my child all afternoon then skipped the swimming lesson he couldn’t stop talking about all day. I feel like one of those guys who comes home from the coal mines and by the time I’m done washing up, I’m too bone weary to go out shooting squirrels with my young ‘uns.

But since today was so shitty, I’m counting on tomorrow to be mostly okay. That’s about how it’s been working out. Alternating days of despair and promise. In baseball terms I’d be batting 500 and considered doing great.

But half as good as perfect isn’t anywhere near close enough where parenting is concerned. You can bet your ass I will move heaven and earth to make sure I don’t miss swimming lessons next Wednesday because of work. Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, ah, … don’t get fooled again. Holy shit, now I understand what Bush was talking about!

That’s an amends I’ll have to make later on, on one of my good days.