Livebloggus Interruptus

Following is my aborted attempt at liveblogging the Dems’ debate on MSNBC last night:

First question goes to Blablablarack Obama and the ‘answer’ is more of the same tired cut & paste stump speech. Yaaaawwwnnn… I’ve never seen the charisma they speak of. He’s damned handsome, but that’s not the same thing as being charismatic.

Hillary defending the Democrats in Congress. Good luck with that, girl.

Why does anybody want this job again?

Oh, here comes Edwards. He’s going to be desperate to make an impression. Yep, he’s the first to go after Hillary. Now they’re sniping back and forth. It’s still not as much fun as a Ron Paul soliloquy or a Mike Gravel rant. Lord, does Edwards go on, though.

Richardson is up. What’s he got cookin’? How long till he flogs his résume, I wonder. But I like his idea about not leaving any Americans behind in Iraq. It would be like saying, “It’s only Osama moving in on your block, it’s not like it’s all of al Qaeda – that’s not gonna be a problem, is it?” Any American left behind is going to be an ongoing irritant/excuse to indigenous maniacs (of which there appear to be plenty) looking to stir up shit.

Dodd also just committed to bringing all troops out of Iraq by X date. All of them.

Biden is flogging his 75-vote win on a toothless measure in the Senate today. Sounds like he also just committed to total troop withdrawal by date X, though.

Kucinich wagging his finger at his stage-mates. Remember how he was famously single during the campaign four years ago and now he’s got this smokin’ hot wife? There’s a book deal right there. I like Kucinich, it’s a shame he doesn’t have a chance.

Mike Gravel – entertain me. Just don’t have a stroke on live TV. That would suck. Gravel trashing Lieberman ohh! And now Hillary! And Obama. And Hillary’s new hearty guffaw. It’s become her stalling equivalent to W’s “in other words…” But Gravel is right if Hillary voted again to give Dumbleyou a fresh saber to rattle at a new Muslim country (which she did — Jesus!). She doesn’t admit mistakes and with this vote — officially declaring Iran’s ‘Republican Guard’ a terrorist entity — she seems to be repeating her signature mistake of trusting W to run foreign policy responsibly. Fuckin’ a... And she’s our front-runner?

[Then Word crashed and The Man Cub got home. Half an hour later…]

Okay, it’s getting boring and Obama isn’t even speaking.

Biden taking on Hillary. Gently, gently now… Don’t want to piss off the eventual nominee...

Ooh, and Russert jumps right to a question to Edwards. I think Hillary should have been given a chance to respond to Biden’s allegations.

Edwards on Universal Health Care, he’s saying all the right things. Russert accuses him of changing his opinion and he concedes he has. Wow, honesty. It’ll never work (see Ron Paul and Mike Gravel’s poll numbers).

One for Obama. Handsome devil. Oh god, he’s introducing another 3-part, canned response. Blablablarack. It’s all boilerplate and chest-thumping. Jesus, how long are they giving him to reply? Maybe it just feels like forever.

Russert is hitting Gravel for his business failings and personal bankruptcy. Now Russert is going after Kucinich’s bankruptcy history. Gravel was great. He said he screwed the credit card companies out of $90,000 in order to promote a ballot initiative. Nobody seemed to have any idea what to make of him. It was hilarious.

Okay, now Russert just bitch-slapped Richardson for something – I guess it’s the time in the debate that the moderator tries to make every candidate squirm. Richardson’s response – whip out that resume! I’m getting bored again. Can we have another question for Gravel, please?

An anti-gay question for Edwards from Russert’s assistant in the crowd. Another reporter looking to play “gotcha.” Edwards has got a nice dodge lined up that should shield him from the left but leave him plenty of wiggle-room on the right. In a nutshell: he thinks it’s gross but sees society heading a different way and if elected, he’ll go along with society’s judgment.

Barack just passed the gay question off to his wife, basically. Smoooooth.

Same question to Hillary: She speaks and speaks but she says nothing. Well, at least now she’s selling an anti hate-crime bill. I like that.

[commercial break. Better check in on the family]

The boy is being impossible. I should really head out there. Oh sweet Jesus, it’s a 2-hour debate! I’ll be back…

[I was wrong about that last part, about being back… I’m beginning to understand what they mean when they call this stage of childhood “The Terrible Twos”.]

Fortunately, there’s still 3,078 more debates to go before the election.

oh dear god...