Give me a hard question next time

A: By sending other peoples’ kids off to fight and die in the wars of their making!

(A proud tradition since W’s “service” in the Texas National Air Guard during Vietnam and as luck would have it, his Daddy’s friends’ campaign seasons.)

Please send my first-place prize to Fang Bastardson, c/o Christmas Island.

I’d like to thank the Academy, and thank you, CNN, for sacrificing valuable free air time to the wife of arguably the most reviled man in America today (with apologies to close runner-up Dr. Phil.). Here’s hoping no sexy white coeds go missing today because I don’t think the Bushes would take Laura being bumped lightly. Dr. Gupta could find himself a translator in the Sunni Triangle of Death faster than you can say “Jack Kervorkian.”