A Life Less Lived

That seems to be a pretty apt way to headline an entry about a couple of comic book-related matters...

ITEM: I’ve been told that all the lady bloggers are up in arms about this new sculpture being marketed in conjunction with the release of “Spider-Man 3”:

There’s an excellent rant about it over here, with some funny pictures of Spidey wearing nothing but a mask and a thong and rinsing MJ’s unmentionables. The thing is, Spidey naked is just Spidey colored skin-color instead of red and blue colored. With a costume like Spider-Man’s, you’re pretty much naked in public all the time already.

More to the point, though, this is a sculpture of Comic Book Mary Jane, who is literally a supermodel (of course), not Movie MJ, who is a blue-collar chorus girl who sings torch songs in smoky juke joints.

If supermodels did do their boyfriends’ laundry, they’d probably look just like this when they did it.

Most importantly though, Mary Jane, as originally introduced back in 1965 (and drawn above by the immortal John Romita, Sr.), was designed specifically to be a bombshell. Her opening line, famous among comic nerds like me, is “Face it, Tiger… you just hit the jackpot.” That woman would clean Spidey’s uniform for him and she’d do it wearing a thong yanked up to her sternum.

So with all due respect to angry feminists the blogosphere over, this is not some crass, expolitative reinterpretation, it’s an accurate representation of the source material, adjusted for cultural inflation. You can argue that the character as originally framed was exploitative or shallow or cheap or what-have-you, but you can’t argue that this statue doesn’t kick some serious ass. I love everything about it except the price tag. $125. For $125, I expect to have more than my laundry done, thank you.


ITEM: “Heroes,” the hit NBC superhero show, is really really poorly written on an ongoing basis. It bugs the hell out of me. It’s one those shows I like in theory, like last year’s ill-fated, equally well-meaning “Jack and Bobby,” while cringing at aspects of its actual execution.

“Heroes’” look is great, but the acting is only soap opera-level and the effects work is up to contemporary norms without being exceptional.

That’s the thing about this show – nothing is exceptional. Worse, everything is explained and explained again. It’s like it was written to hold the attention of chipmunks on speed.

I love the arc of the show and unfolding mythology, but unlike the show it’s most often compared to, “Lost,” “Heroes’” execution borders on inane. I’m pleased and disappointed at the same time that it’s become a big hit. Pleased – on principle – that it’ll be around for awhile and may spawn superior imitators, but embarrassed that it’s become the public face of the genre. The best superhero films don’t talk down to the audience and treat them like they’re idiots, and I don’t think “Heroes” has to, either.

Here’s hoping next season’s imitators yield at least one show equally high-concept but better-written.


ITEM: My favorite comic book, “The Ultimates (Vol. 2)” just published its last issue today. Due to the intricate linework of series pencil artist Bryan Hitch, the 13 issues of the series took about 3 years to come out, as opposed to the usual rate of an issue a month. But what a fabulous ride it’s been!

Although the second volume doesn’t hold up quite as well as Volume 1 (available now in hardcover collected form and most highly recommended), mainly because it had its sights set on a broader, less tightly-focused storyline than Volume 1, it still offered stunning spectacles like the 8-page fold-out illustration below:

And if Volume 2’s weakness is its more ambitious scope and adult themes, what a weakness! The second volume is a sober rumination and reflection on a world turned upside-down by an America drunk on its own (super) power, and the catastrophic consequences of the country’s leaders’ unilateral decision to set itself up as policeman to the world. Heady, timely stuff, and exquisitely rendered. And best of all, in this alternate comicbook universe, Captain America is still very much alive!

So buy Volume One right now! if you’ve ever loved comics, or still patronize Hollywood summertime blockbusters. And watch this space for news of when Volume 2 hits the shelves in collected form. It’ll make an awesome gift for someone...