Rick Perry is going, going….

…mostly gone. I mean, real gone, baby.

I actually felt bad for Rick Perry in the otherwise deadly dull GOP primary debate last night.

The big news was supposed to be Herman Cain getting beat up for his recent Bimbo Eruptions by his fellow candidates, but when given the opportunity by the moderators, the other candidates passed. The question itself even drew “boos” from the Republican faithful gathered to watch the show.

It seems allegations of sexual predation are only an outrage when it is a Democrat accused of same.

And CNBC insisted on inserting that howling jackass Jim Cramer on the moderator’s panel. Every time he asked a question, I looked up because it sounded like the TV had switched itself over to professional wrestling. For that, I felt bad for all the candidates.

But Herman Cain—with the audience’s hearty approval—slipped right past the current scandal dogging his presidential bid, and the governor from Texas grabbed last night’s headlines instead.

In all the wrong ways, as is his wont, but even worse than usual this time.

We’re used to seeing him not in command of the facts, being smarmy and condescending, mangling his native tongue ala his predecessor in the Texas governor’s mansion… but this is the first time I’ve seen him suffer what honestly looked like an Alzheimer’s Moment.

It wasn’t pretty or fun. The clip embedded below is not for entertainment purposes, although I am sorry to disclose that a presidential candidate’s dreams were harmed during its production:



I’m not joking about Alzheimer’s. Between his freewheeling address that made news last week:



…and last night’s performance, I am convinced we are watching a sick man. I hope to God it’s only substance abuse, but that’s not what it looked like last night.

And believe me, it’s not easy for me to summon sympathy for probably the greatest mass-killer in the history of the state of Texas, natural-causes aside. I would wish anal warts on the man, but not Alzheimer’s.

So I reckon Rick Perry will go riding off into the sunset of his career in the next few days—in order to spend more time with his family, of course—with only history to eventually reveal whether we were watching a man in the early stages of a terminal illness, or just someone who couldn’t hold him his Jaeger and Ambien.

Ahh-dios, partner. Whatever your heath situation is, good luck with it. You may want to relocate to Massachusetts, where I understand they really coddle their sick.

And sorry again about Jim Cramer.