Turdblossoms in the sun

This just in: Karl Rove will not be testifying this week in front of those Nervous Nellies in Congress. As expected, His Imperial Majesty King George the Second has claimed “Executive Privilege” to keep his most trusted adviser from being forced to lie under oath, saving W the hassle of the inevitable pardon/commutation for perjury down the road (see Scooter Libby).

The administration’s counter-offer, which is so outrageous as to be hilarious on the face of it, was to allow Rove to testify, but a) not under oath, nor b) in public nor c) not even with any notes being allowed to be taken by the Congressmen and women asking the questions. Thus raising the interesting philosophical question, if a turdblossom (W’s fratboy nickname for Rove) lies through his teeth to Congress without possibility of legal ramification, would it really have been a pack of smelly lies at all?

Sadly, that question will remain academic. And we know how W feels about pointy-headed academics… No, they’ll be running the clock out, claiming Executive Privilege any time anybody with oversight responsibilities asks to peek under the lid of the malignant can of worms that is the Bush II presidency.

The part that is especially galling is Bush is claiming Executive Privilege for investigations of activities he swears the executive branch had absolutely no involvement in (in this case, the firing of the 8 U.S. attorneys). If that assertion was true, Executive Privilege wouldn’t even apply! But after almost 7 years in power, they’ve figured out they can fool just the right number of people just the right amount of the time to get away with almost anything; and when they do get caught with their hands in the cookie jar, they can just claim Executive Privilege and wait for their stacked Supreme Court to eventually give their contempt of Congress a pass. Or not, it doesn’t matter. By the time it gets that far, Bush and Dick will long since have retired to work the rubber-chicken circuit for Halliburton, Fox News and the 700 Club.

Don’t these assholes know all this shit comes out eventually (no pun intended)? Some administration supernumerary the big shots couldn’t be bothered to give the time of day to is gonna get his non-entity’s revenge by writing the first insiders’ tell-all on the W years, and then the floodgates of blabbermouths will swing wide. All the dirty, ugly secrets that W and Dick have spent so much time and broken so many laws trying to obfuscate into oblivion will explode into the public consciousness and the history books.

The only reasonable assumption is that they know this, and are continuing down their extra-legal path not to protect themselves in perpetuity or for posterity but to make sure they continue to be able to rule as they fit – removed from any boundaries created by such quaint judicial constructs as ‘the rule of law’ – until they are shown the door in January 2009. After they’re out, and they’ve completely fucked over our country, let the chips fall where they may.

Because whatever happens in the long run, it doesn’t matter to Bush – he knows just enough history to know that former American presidents don’t do jail time, no matter how richly they deserve it.