Karma doesn’t do nuance

I got un-semiretired yesterday.

I’ve had this great job for 12 years where at about the midpoint of that span, all pay raises stopped but the amount of work I had to do for the same money steadily declined as the newspaper industry atrophied and died around my employer and myself. Lately, it had gotten to the point of being pretty ridiculously lopsided, the amount of money I was making versus the time I was putting in. I never deliberately gamed the system, but I didn’t complain any too loudly when the odds swung—and got stuck in—my favor, either.

It has been fucking big-time with my inner recovering-Catholic.

I’ve been eating guilt for years now over taking money I feel I haven’t fully earned. As my abrupt dis-employment ties one giant millstone around my neck, it lifts another great weight from my shoulders. I may go to the poorhouse, but I’ll go there free!

Not that I didn’t try to earn my keep, he argued reflexively. I’ve been pitching spec Wordpress sites for their umbrella corporation for ages now, to no avail, while they endlessly ‘explore their options.’ I’ve asked about picking up some of their other regional weeklies—nada. Bupkis, baby. And I’m a one-man shop! And, and, and…!

Hey, I could bitch about my soon-to-be former employer—I understand there is precedent—but that would be classless and trite. The fact is, they gave me a pretty good, long ride, even through a few patches that I made rough myself. I appreciate the accommodations they made for me when we moved out-of-state; it took some finagling on their part to keep me on board for as long as they did.

And really, having a newspaper company be your bread and butter account in 2014 was never going to have come to a good end anyhow. It’s been only a question of when for years now.

Now we know.

I’m still in denial, so I don’t have any expansive thoughts on the subject yet. My client was gracious enough to give me two weeks notice and I find myself suddenly with lots of things to do.

With my semi-retirement behind me, I expect karma is going to work me like a pack mule from here on, without any promise of reward on my efforts. There is certain to be some pretty rough sledding between now and whatever comes next, but I’ve been well-compensated in advance for the inconvenience.

I face the impending misadventure with relief and apprehension in equal measure.