You people along the Gulf Coast are screwed again. Sorry.

I’m actually getting worried about this Gulf oil spill.

At first it was just a news report on my birthday: Oil rig explodes. I thought, “That’ll make for great visuals. The news is sure to lead with it tonight.”

Sidebar: Yes, now my birthday will be remembered for Columbine, Hitler’s birth and the beginning of the worst environmental catastrophe in U.S. history. Maybe going forward, April 20 should be a nobody-leaves-the-house national ‘holiday,’ with mandatory midnight to midnight curfews. Nobody’s allowed to go school, work or into labor.

But within a couple days it became clear that it would take a near miracle to cap that bastard. As soon as the video images from the sea floor came in, I felt in my heart that the Gulf was a goner, no matter how gamely the companies involved were lowballing estimates and projections.

Then Obama comes out this week in a big press conference and repeatedly claims ownership of “the issue.” Bill Maher had a great line about it: Where Bill Clinton would have famously felt the victims’ pain, Obama would tell them, “I have received a report on your pain…”

On the one hand, I respect Obama for stepping up and not shirking responsibility, but he generated about a million sound byte and video clips claiming responsibility for this thing. And here’s why I was surprised—this thing isn’t over. For Pete’s sake, we might not even be in the middle of it yet. Its ultimate magnitude and unintended consequences are going to hang around Obama’s neck like “No new taxes” did around George Bush, Sr. I honestly thought Obama was smarter than that.

I used to think he was unbeatable in 2012 (especially with the thin GOP bench), but now I think he may have shot himself in the electoral dick. Unless a miracle occurs, this thing is going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better. Insanely worse.

As NBC pointed out on its news tonight, hurricane season starts down there tomorrow. Imagine Katrina only it’s not dirty water up to your shoulders this time, its petroleum. Petroleum and dispersal agents, potentially more dangerous to humans than the oil itself. And all it would take is one lit match or a carelessly discarded cigarette to cause a catastrophe of science-fiction proportions.

Put me down in the “Glad We’re Moving North” category.