Blog entry: rambling omnibus edition

I’ll admit to experiencing an ongoing editorial imperative to fill this space from time to time…, but as often as not I find myself having to live my life as opposed to chronicling same. Then when my life has been lived, I look back on it for noteworthy events and often find nothing important enough to sit down and write a full report on.

This is one of those times. But the editorial urge drives me…

ITEM! Friend of this blog John In Boston is bound to be hurting today. The guitarist from one of his favorite bands, The Stooges, was “found dead” today. Sounds like a Monty Python skit, doesn’t it? “Found Dead?”
Graham Chapman in drag: ’ave you see Mr. Ashton today?
Eric Idle in drag: Yesss…
Graham Chapman: ’ow’d you find ’im?
Eric Idle: Ooh, a bit dead, ’e was…
[gales of canned laughter]

Sorry John. It’s a bitch when our heroes die. I’ll give those Stooges discs another spin in the morning.

ITEM! I’ve been depressed over the death of John Travolta’s teenage son. As a dad, I just can’t wrap my head around that kind of loss. My heart goes out to the kid’s parents. And it keeps being in the headlines so I can’t turn the fucking page on it. Let it go, MSM. Let these pretty, famous people suffer their inconsolable loss in what peace tragedy affords.

ITEM! Our “allies” in Israel are now targeting schools, killing scores of little kids.

And still not a peep of dissent from Team Bush. Would the Israelies have to light up a Texas Longhorns home game to draw these assholes’ ire?! I’m not even taking sides because I’ve come to the conclusion that living in that kind of heat so much of every year for so many years just bakes peoples’ brains and makes them fucking crazy. I say a pox upon all their houses! But our government can’t even get up the balls to say that.

You know what I do recall Bush saying, repeatedly, while selling the Iraq War? “Democracies,” he would explain slowly, as if speaking to a roomful of congenital morons, “Don’t make war on one another.” Then he’d tilt his empty head and smile that familiar, uniquely condescending smile that said What the fuck is wrong with you idiots?

Well that’s another pronouncement to file under “Whoops, got that one wrong too,” isn’t it? Another beaut for the Legacy Box.

ITEM! We’re belatedly doing Potty Training Boot Camp. Even after Christmas Vacation (not as bad as I had worked myself up to expect, thank you), The Missus and The Boy both had a week left off from school and we decided to use that time to its full advantage.

Without having anything to compare it to, I guess it seems to be going pretty well. The day will come that he may read this and not appreciate me revealing too many details here, but suffice it to say, I am reasonably pleased. Although he still has to be coaxed frequently; doesn’t yet understand that poo, also, is supposed to go in the potty, not his underpants; and at day care just holds it in all day till they diaper him for his nap, then lets it all go so they’re left with a sopping smelly mess when it’s time for him to wake up and get back into his big-boy underpants.

Anyhow, it’s kept us hopping. Another reason for my recent bloggeral inactivity.

ITEM! If you haven’t seen “The Room,” you must (you really must). Read the Entertainment Weekly story this item links to and see if you don’t succumb to its siren call… we did, and haven’t stopped giggling since. It’s $10 on amazon for crying out loud

ITEM! The following has really been sticking in my craw, especially with all the attention Mickey Rourke has brought himself lately with his celebrated turn in Darren Aronofsky’s “The Wrestler.”

We need “Barfly” available on DVD! Rourke’s performance as a street bum with aspirations of aristocracy is one I’ve not seen the like of before or since. “Barfly” is one of the few laser discs I still own because it’s yet to be released on DVD. Come on, Hollywood!

And “China Beach,” too. What’s up with that? The feminist in me is angry and wants a cigarette.

And “Batman” with Adam West? Where the fuck is the Caped Crusader from my childhood??

And the season of NYPD Blue where Jimmy Smits’ character dies. Season 6 I think? They stopped producing season sets after season 4 and that show peaked with season 6 and Det. Siffuentes’ going home to glory. The first couple of seasons were given the deluxe big-box packaging that spelled “prestige” in the early days of the format; by season four it’s out only in the frills-free “slim set” package that, truth be told, is smarter packaging than the sets that run three times thicker.

How about “Longstreet,” the blind P.I. played by James Franciscus that ran about the same period as “Mannix” and “Ironside,” both out on DVD?

And the “Green Hornet?” Bruce fucking Lee as Kato? That shit would fly off the shelves!

And speaking of which, what’s with bilking consumers by splitting season sets in two – volume 1 and volume 2? It’s pure rip-off, as the compact, concise season one set of “Mannix” proves. Six discs, compact packaging... it’s not rocket science.

“Streets of San Francisco” and “Time Tunnel,” I’ve avoided buying both of you precisely for your participation in this crass marketing scheme.

The only one I understand still being MIA is “China Beach.” Its soundtrack was rich with the music of the period and sorting out music rights is infamous for its capacity to keep quality entertainment out of the hands of the home video market. It’s why there’s only one measly season of “WKRP” available, and why “Larry Sanders” had to cherry-pick episodes for a “best-of” set instead of releasing the seasons in their entirety. (They did release season one, however. It’s out of print, but not before I got my copy!)

You know what movie I’d love to see feted with a major anniversary release? “Ishtar!” Long regarded as one of the worst movies ever made, by people who’ve never seen it, it’s always been a personal favorite of mine. Let’s do it now while Warren Beatty, Dustin Hoffman and Elaine May are still around to do commentary tracks. This DVD would be worth its weight in gold! And I for one would snap up the soundtrack CD in a hot minute.

Come on, Hollywood. The DVD format is on its last legs. Now is the time to clear out your vaults, at fire sale prices if necessary, so everybody’s bought everything at least once before they feel compelled to re-purchase them again in the next new higher-resolution format.

ITEM! We’re having a little get-together here on Christmas Island to celebrate the inauguration on the 20th. If you’re in the neighborhood, we hope you’ll paddle on over. God almighty, still 20 days to go...

Here’s hoping for happier things to report this year than last.