Summer Movies (Part 1)

Goddammit, summer is still popcorn-movie season, and I’ve gotten out to see a few new releases in between all the hassles and heartache of this particular season.

Hands down, “Iron Man” is the one to beat so far. Everybody I talk to says, “Welllll, I wasn’t sure about Robert Downey Jr. playing a superhero…” Obvious illiterates, I felt sorry for them. Robert Downey Jr. was born to play Tony Stark, Iron Man’s alter ego. A glib, sloppy drunk who takes his natural talent for granted till a near-death situation forces him to take extreme measures to survive. Christ, he even looks like Tony Stark from the comics! And as I wrote in an earlier post, the filmmakers nailed the story, the effects were very cool — the metal suits, especially the early ones, just looked really heavy. It’s a neat trick to pull off that, if the trailer is any indication, next month’s “Hulk” reboot does not manage with equal success. I saw the Hulk trailer in the theater and thought it looked cheesey; just saw it on the TV at home tonight and the titular Incredible one’s animation looked downright video-game-quality.

So “Iron Man,” fuck yeah. I’m hoping The Missus will choose it when we go out celebratin’ her birthday this weekend. We were already supposed to have seen it together, but I was mad at her for being sick at the time, so I went to go see it by myself. (In my defense, my churlishness did eventually force her to flee the house and go the doctor, after which she did got well...)

“Speed Racer” I found oddly compelling. Ahead of time, based on all early word, it seemed like it would be the kind of flick that I might sit through in the theater, but would probably wander away from on DVD. And I wanted to give it its best shot to work on me.

So I got as loaded as I ever get these days (ie: not very) and sat about six rows from the front, also a sign of big respect from me. I’m the guy who usually sits in the back row of the theater and just chills. I don’t remember that many details about the film itself… I’m not sure there were a lot of details. There were some scenes where actors on brightly-painted sets said things to each other, and I remember thinking Christina Ricci looked hot even with a bob, and that Jack from “Lost” had flash-forwarded into this film; he must have gotten hold of some bad mushrooms on the island. And Roseanne’s TV husband was there, too. That guy turns up everywhere.

Mostly though I remember the trippy race sequences, which were everything I could have hoped for. I kept thinking, “This is stupid. If I left now, it’d give me another hour at home to do x, y and z,” but I stayed in my seat for the whole thing and just let the film wash over me. Up and down and over and under and ‘round and ‘round with pink and purple flashing lights the whole time. Scenes that didn’t cut together in a traditional narrative way, but overlapped and slid into frame and slid out. The filmmakers, the brothers who did The Matrix movies, were trying something pretty damn new with this. On strictly movie merits, it failed miserably. But as a cinematic high-wire act/head-trip, this flick gets five stars. If you go to it with the same mind-set that you’d go see “Dark Side of the Moon” at the Lasarium, you can expect to be blown away.

And we saw the new “Indiana Jones” movie last weekend (thank god for summer babysitters!). Very fun, fast-paced flick. I was afraid it would drag, and all the big action sequences would go on way too long like the “Pirates of the Caribbean” flicks and it would end up a two and a half hour bore. But it was much shorter than that, Harrison Ford delivered his lines well and jumped and punched people, special effects specially effected, we got to hate the Commies this time (even though it’s always more fun hating Nazis), the middle didn’t sag and the end didn’t wear out its welcome. The only thing that grated was the charisma-free young actor they’re apparently thinking of handing the franchise over to. He even has a name you want to playground-bully: Shia LeBouf. He does a good goggle-eyed look and seems to have trained for this role, he’s in good shape. But he’s kind of a null. Since he’s not at the head of this flick, that’s not fatal. But I think trying to put him in Indy’s hat for any future installments might be a mistake.

Anyway, that’s it for now. Still more promising-looking flicks coming out. Looking forward to Will Smith’s “Hancock.” The Batman sequel, the shitty Hulk sequel which I’ll see strictly out of brand loyalty… the new stoner/action comedy from the Judd Apatow factory.

Did I mention we’re auditioning babysitters?